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Q. How do we find the best books for our book group?
Q. How should we decide, as a group, what books to read?
Q. How far in advance should we choose our books?
Q. If someone in the group has already read a proposed book, does that mean that we shouldn't read it as a group?
Q. Should we read both old and new books?
Q. Should our group have an established leader, or should the leadership rotate? Should the leader and the host/hostess be the same person?
Q. Every once in a while, we read a book that triggers an "overheated" discussion. How do we handle it when certain members of our group get into arguments that are a little too intense?
Q. What's the best size for a book group? How many members do we need?
Q. Where can the leader (or the host/hostess) find information on a particular book or author?
Q. Our group has a great time together on a social level. We usually enjoy a nice meal and some good gossip. But I don't think that we really spend enough time on the book, or if we do, I don't think that we manage to stay focused on the important questions. How do we fix this?
Q. How do we find the best books for our book group?
A. You're in luck! These days it's easy to get good book group suggestions from a variety of resources. Besides our website and the Latelies newsletter, you can look in your local paper or favorite magazine for book reviews or recommendations. You can go to your neighborhood bookstore, check out new displays, and ask a trusted bookseller to tell you about recent great reading group discoveries. BookSense.com also offers suggestions on their website, and in their newsletter, Book Sense 76, available at many independent bookstores.
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Q. How should we decide, as a group, what books to read?
A. There are as many different answers to this question as there are different kinds of book groups. One system that works for many groups is to let the host or hostess of each meeting pick the book that he or she would like to read. Some groups ask that the next meeting's host or hostess bring two or three choices to the group's current meeting, so the group can take a vote. Some groups set aside one meeting a year to determine the schedule--meeting dates, locations, and books--for the following year, asking each member to bring a suggestion or two for a group decision. If your group is new, try experimenting with one or more of these possibilities, see what works for you.
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Q. How far in advance should we choose our books?
A. There's one solid answer to this question. You should certainly agree by the end of this month's meeting what your group will read for next month's meeting. It's a big pain for everybody if people can't find out what to read for book group until a week or two before the meeting. Some groups choose to plan ahead for a year, choosing the year's books at one meeting. But some people don't like to do this, because they want to see what hot new tempting book may appear six months from now. Many book groups find that they enjoy the best of both flexibility and organization by choosing books for the next three meetings or months, taking time out to vote and choose four times a year.
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Q. If someone in the group has already read a proposed book, does that mean that we shouldn't read it as a group?
A. Absolutely not, unless that person thought it was a terrible book that nobody in his or her right mind would want to read. Reading a book and discussing a book are two different things. If someone in the group has read the book before, and enjoyed it, he or she will probably enjoy the experience of talking about it.
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Q. Should we read both old and new books?
A. Yes, absolutely. Reading the best of the past and the present sets you free from the ongoing English Teacher/Bookstore trap. Think about it. Have you ever noticed that while most of your former English teachers appeared to believe that all good writing stopped after World War II, most bookstores manage to create the consumer anxiety that the only good book is hot off the press? If you're in a book group to learn more about the wide, wide world, consider choosing books written and set in a variety of different times and places. If you're in a book group to dig deeper into the world that immediately surrounds you, think about picking books written and set in your country, in your century--that still gives you plenty of room to look around. What if you don't know why you or your friends are in this particular book group? Ask. Take a meeting or half a meeting to discuss what's most important to your members. What sort of book have you overdosed on? What kind of books have you never shared together? Set some goals for yourself. Be creative, original, and demanding in your choices.
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Q. Should our group have an established leader, or should the leadership rotate? Should the leader and the host/hostess be the same person?
A. In our opinion, every meeting should have a leader, and we're not necessarily talking about a professional facilitator. We're saying that each time a group meets, someone should be in charge of leading the discussion, keeping the group on track. This is because it's extremely hard for any group keep an organized discussion going when no one is in charge, even if it's just a casual sort of being in charge. Some groups have an established group leader, the person who always heads the discussion. But in most groups, the host/hostess is unofficially in charge. We suggest a slight variation to this system. A host or hostess already has plenty of responsibility in hosting. While you're deciding who shall host the next meeting or meetings, consider deciding on a different person to play the leader. This person could be responsible for digging up a little background information on the author or the book, and could come up with a list of five to ten good solid discussion questions. Give this system a try--see if it's helpful for your group.
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Q. Every once in a while, we read a book that triggers an "overheated" discussion. How do we handle it when certain members of our group get into arguments that are a little too intense?
A. This is a tough one. Of course, you want people in your group to have strong opinions about a book, and about the issues and topics that it raises. But on the other hand, you definitely don't want any screaming and/or crying (you can get that from your kids, or your mother). It is possible, however, for civilized people to debate controversial questions in a passionate but compassionate manner--keep the energy, lose the anger. Having a leader who's willing to lead will help a lot. It's this person's job to keep things fair, keep things cool, and give everyone a chance to have their say. Think of how a good teacher or a great talk show host keeps a firm grip on the discussion. Another good principle, in general, is to keep the discussion focused primarily on the book. This is not to say that you can't or shouldn't bring in examples from your own life experience from time to time--a good book can help us think about ourselves in a new way, even as it opens up situations and cultures and people that may be utterly unfamiliar. But remember that you are comparing (for example) two fictional characters' responses to a particular religion. You are not comparing (for example) your neighbor's brand of Judaism with your own. Not unless you and your neighbor feel like such a comparison will contribute a vital perspective to the discussion.
If you feel like your group discussions tend to deteriorate into chaos, confusion, or confrontation, make a time to set down some ground rules, some group agreements. The number one agreement should be that each person treat every other person with respect for his/her intellect, and consideration for his/her feelings. After all, if you wanted to observe an entire group of people yammering, with no one left to listen, you could have stayed home and watched Jerry Springer (not included in our list of great talk show hosts).
If your group contains one particular member who has trouble with this rule, quietly ask another member that the troublemaker admires for help. Don't make this a group issue. Ask this peacemaker to talk to your bad apple about the problem in private. While it sometimes seems hard to believe, often the most abrasive personalities don't know that they are making others uncomfortable--and they may take a kind but firm word of advice to heart. Your peacemaker might say to your bully, "I notice that you seem to have been pretty worked up at our last book group. Is anything bothering you? It seems like Jane said something that hit a nerve." And if your bully gets mad, he or she might get mad enough to leave the group. So long as you did your best to treat this person fairly, that's a fair choice for him or her to make.
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Q. What's the best size for a book group? How many members do we need?
A. The most successful book groups generally have about ten to fifteen members. If you have at least ten members, you're less likely to find yourself (in a worst-case scenario) trying to talk about a book with the two people who weren't marooned at home by the flu or a blizzard on a cold January evening. If you have more than fifteen members, you might be plagued by the opposite problem. If all, say, twenty members show up, and two of them bring their neighbors, you're going to have a tough time having a good discussion, one in which everyone gets a chance to both talk and listen.
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Q. Where can the leader (or the host/hostess) find information on a particular book or author?
A. There are a variety of useful resources. Please see Other Resources for more information.
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Q. Our group has a great time together on a social level. We usually enjoy a nice meal and some good gossip. But I don't think that we really spend enough time on the book, or if we do, I don't think that we manage to stay focused on the important questions. How do we fix this?
A. First of all, if we had a dollar for every time a new book group has apologized to one of our facilitators that their group is "too social," we could probably retire right about now. We'll tell you what we always tell them: it's good that your group is social! Presumably you wanted to join a book group so that you could have interesting conversations with people that you like. As long as the majority of the book group members are satisfied with their time together, then you're doing just fine. One system that works well for most people is to divide the evening into social time and book discussion time--give yourselves the first thirty or forty minutes to enjoy each other's news and company. Then, turn the evening over to your discussion leader (see suggestions above), and give the book a chance.
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