December 2002 | Think your family is shamefully strange? Scared of spending another holiday season with those certain twisted manipulative relatives who make you want to chew the plaster off your toilet lid? Hey, sometimes it does help, a little bit, to learn that there are others who have it even worse. After a short visit with any of these books, you might very well feel pretty damn lucky to be surrounded by your particular brand of peculiar loved ones. Sit back, relax, and enjoy those holidays!

1.  Books of Late: Three books that put the fun in family dysfunction
2.  Tips: How to include your family in your book group
3.  Food for Thought: Holiday recipes to make the season merry
4.  Etc.: It's beginning to look a lot like listmas: a few great book lists

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1.  Books of Late

This, friends, may very well be the most disgusting and delightful memoir you will ever read. It's the story of one very pristine young lad, our hero Augusten, whose greatest concern is the maintenance of his perfect Ken doll hair and whose sweetest dream is one day to rule over his own Beauty Empire, just like Vidal Sassoon. Unfortunately, because Augusten's mother is a raving narcissist with delusions of burning poetic talent, Augusten is dumped off to live with his mom's shrink at the tender age of twelve. Dr. Finch is cavalier about the new addition to his household; after all, he's been happy to welcome many of his most deluded patients as members of the family in the past. He's much more interested in treating Augusten's mother by introducing her to his Masturbatorium, or in enlisting his children's help to divine the will of God through the examination of a particularly fascinating piece of his own feces. Amidst the mind-boggling chaos of the Finch household, befriended by daughters Hope and Natalie, deflowered by gay older adopted brother Neil, abandoned by both his parents, Augusten is left to make his uncertain way in the world. Let it be said that there are parts of this story that are pretty much guaranteed to make you gag. But it's also a brilliant example of a courageous writer who wastes no time wallowing in the dregs of what must have been a terribly painful childhood. Instead he mines it for every black laugh that it can yield, and oh baby, is this a rich terrain for strangled laughter. Let all drama queens bow down and worship--you may have had a weird upbringing, but no, it wasn't this weird.

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Oh, The Horror. The Horror. We may as well just warn you up front. After an hour or so with this first novel you may just be tempted to give up on the whole thing. Yes, it's true! You have wasted your entire life! Flip to the back flap of this precise, prematurely wise, and chilling novel to look at the author's jacket photo. Now read the bio underneath--one simple sentence--"Nick McDonell was born in 1984 in New York City." Yes, folks, that's right, this guy is seventeen years old, and he can already tell a story that is vastly more compelling than about ninety percent of what's out there on the shelves. Oh, and the writing's not too shabby either, darn him. Sorry Mr. McDonell, just a momentary flash of seething jealousy. In case you can't tell, we might have wanted to dismiss this cautionary tale of spoiled rotten teen life on the Upper East Side of present day Manhattan, but the novel is too straightforward and fresh to resist. McDonell's hero is White Mike, a strangely clean, disturbingly moral drug dealer who has mostly dropped out of his very prestigious prep school to sell dope to kids from pretty much every prestigious prep school in town. As White Mike makes his rounds during the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve, we meet a variety of his disenchanted and disenfranchised clientele-somehow, McDonell wins our caring, and occasionally our compassion, for these zany kids who have so much and appreciate so little. You sort of want to yank away their cell phones and Discmans and offer them a snack and an afghan. As you might expect, kids with tons of money, plenty of Christmas break free time, and complete lack of parental care or supervision can whip up a hell of a New Year's party. But the week, the novel, and the evening culminate in a surprising crescendo of passion that's enough to smack the apathy out of the most jaded reader or character. Way to go, Nick McDonell!

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Are you ready to read the Single Greatest American Hermaphrodite Epic of the Twenty-First century? You bet you are! And that's why it was so cool of Jeffrey Eugenides, he of The Virgin Suicides fame, to write it for us. Meet Calliope Stephanides, who is soon to become your absolute favorite Intersex character in all of literature. OK, we're done with our painful attempts at cute and witty-we'll turn it over to Mr. Eugenides' infinitely superior wit to present this delightful story and character. "I was born twice: first as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960, and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974." That's the first sentence, and with that irresistible lure, Eugenides reels us in-hook, line, and sinker-for the next 500 pages of a truly unique and important novel. Like one out of every two thousand kids born in America, Calliope arrived in this world with an ambiguous set of primary sexual characteristics. But Calliope doesn't know this for the first fourteen years of her life, nor do her parents, nor her friends, or her brother. The only people who might have some information to impart on this subject, if they had any idea of the problem, are Callie's grandparents, who have carried a guilty secret all the way from Greece, which they fled during the last days of the Ottoman Empire. And they sure aren't talking. But Eugenides does. He takes us all the way back to the Old World to follow a forbidden love affair across the Atlantic and into the once-clean streets of Detroit during the glory days of the Motor City, through the unrest of the 1960's race riots, and finally to a second generation's immigration to the heart of suburbia. It's truly a great American story, but it's also the story of a person who must confront the heart of a gender identity that most of us never have to think about twice. This is a novel about what it means to be a boy, and a girl, and all the places in between--and creates an amazing potential for a crazy-good discussion.

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2.  Tips

We know what you're thinking: "My book group is a refuge from my family -- why in the world would I want to get them involved?" Now, now, it's not something you have to do all the time. Consider doing something special like this just once a year. Just this time of year, perhaps. Just in case you haven't had enough time with your oh-so-loved ones. Just give it a chance!

Bring in the Husbands (or Wives) for a Change!

* We know of several book groups who do this once a year. Believe it or not, they say it's really fun. Here's the secret: choose a book that appeals to both men and women. May we suggest The Power of the Dog by Thomas Savage?

* Why, you ask? For most of you, involving your significant other will mean adding a strong dose of testosterone to the mix. This will probably change your discussion a bit. For better or for worse is up to you -- either way, you'll have loads to talk about when you've got your group back to yourselves!

Read a Young Adult Novel and Invite your Kids!

* Mother-daughter book groups are increasingly popular, and for good reason. Getting together with your book group and your book group member's kids (ages 9 -14 seem to work best) is great fun! There are so many wonderful young adult books to choose from -- we're especially fond of Coraline by Neil Gaiman.

* You understand why this is good for your kids: reading, talking about books, spending time with the parental units. What you may not expect is how good it will be for you. The young adult book groups we've met with have convinced us that the youngest readers often have the most imaginative -- and astute -- things to say. Be prepared for an eye-opening experience!

Bridge the Generation Gap and Invite Your Parents!

* If you're lucky enough to have parents or grandparents still with you, you absolutely must do this with your book group. The trick is to choose a book set in a time that will bring back memories (and not cause offense) -- we adore Homestead by Rosina Lippi. And we mean it when we say that we have yet to meet the person who does not love this book.

* Caution: this may be so fun and so rewarding, you might have to do it again and again. We know of one book group who began with a regular book group meeting with parents and grandparents and had so much fun, they started a whole new group devoted to getting their elders to tell stories. This became a sort of genealogy book group, where each elder member of the group told his or her stories, and the group recorded them -- creating a gift for generations to come.

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3.  Food for Thought

The Gingerbread Man Drink
(leave those gingerbread cookies for the kids -- this treat's for you!)

Ingredients

30 ml Goldschlager (a clear cinnamon schnapps liqueur)

30 ml butterscotch Schnapps or Kahlua

30 ml Bailey's Irish Cream

Directions
1. Place all ingredients in a shaker glass with ice.
2. Shake.
3. Pour into 3 shot glasses.
4. 1,2,3 drink.

Click here for more homespun recipes.

Fig Holiday Roll
(because it's just not the holidays without a recipe from Martha Stewart!)

To get a nice log shape, lay the cake on a kitchen towel, fill it, roll it, then clip the towel’s ends together with clothespins until the cake sets. We used frozen currants as a garnish, but frozen grapes work just as well. You may substitute cream cheese for the mascarpone; add two more tablespoons sugar and a half teaspoon vanilla.

Ingredients -- for the cake

8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), melted and cooled, plus more for pan and foil

1 pound soft dried figs, stems removed, quartered

1/4 cup dried currants

1 1/2 cups milk

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar

2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 slices white bread

4 large eggs

2 tablespoons chopped Candied Kumquats (optional)

2 tablespoons crystallized ginger (optional)

Ingredients -- for the filling and garnish

2 pounds mascarpone cheese

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

Red currants, for garnish

Candied Kumquats, for garnish

Raspberry Coulis

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350°. Make the cake: Butter an 18-by-12-inch jelly-roll pan. Line with parchment paper, and butter the parchment. Place figs, dried currants, and milk in a medium saucepan; bring to a simmer over medium heat. Cook until liquid is absorbed, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat, place mixture in the bowl of a food processor, and process until it is a thick paste (it should not be completely smooth). Set aside.

2. Sift flour, brown sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, and salt into a medium bowl; set aside. Tear bread into small pieces; place in the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until even crumbs form, about 10 pulses, to yield about 1 1/2 cups bread crumbs.

3. Place eggs in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment; beat on high speed until frothy. Add reserved fig mixture, bread crumbs, kumquats, ginger (if using), and melted butter. Mix until combined. With mixer on low speed, add reserved flour mixture; mix until just combined.

4. Bring about 3 cups water to a boil in a medium saucepan. Using an offset spatula, spread batter as evenly as possible in prepared pan. Cover pan loosely with buttered aluminum foil, and place on middle rack in oven. Place a baking pan filled with the boiling water on rack beneath cake. Bake until cake is springy and a cake tester comes out clean, about 40 minutes, rotating once halfway through baking time. Remove from oven, and set on a cooling rack for 10 minutes. Lay a clean kitchen towel and a sheet pan over cake, and invert cake onto towel. Allow to cool for 10 minutes. Roll gently, using towel as a guide, curling the cake without applying too much pressure, to prevent excessive cracking. Allow roll to remain wrapped in towel for 10 minutes. Unroll, and cool to room temperature. Don’t worry if there are some breaks in the cake; once filled it can be rolled with cracked pieces on bottom.

5. Make the filling: Combine mascarpone, cream, and confectioners’ sugar in a large bowl; fold until smooth. Place mixture in refrigerator until ready to use; it will be easier to roll cake if cheese mixture is cold. Using an offset spatula, spread chilled mascarpone mixture evenly over unrolled cake. Roll up again inside kitchen towel, forming a 17 1/2-inch-long log: Leaving the cake ends exposed, bring the towel’s edges up over the top of the cake, and roll, applying pressure to the sides. Secure with clothespins or plastic binder clips to make a cylindrical log shape. Chill rolled cake for at least 4 hours, or overnight. Allow to stand at room temperature for 30 minutes before serving.

6. Just before serving, trim off ends of the cake, forming a 16-inch-long log. Slice into 1-inch-thick servings. Garnish with red currants, candied kumquats, and raspberry coulis, if desired. Serves 16.

Visit MarthaStewart.com for more recipes that will take you all day to prepare.

Click here for a printable version of the recipes.

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4.  Etc.

Click here for the BookSense 76 Picks for November/December 2002

Click here for The San Francisco Chronicle's Top 100 Books of 2002

Click here for Entertainment Weekly's Best Books of 2002

For even more fun, click here for Entertainment Weekly's Worst Books of 2002

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